Aug 062011
 

A few simple tests to see whether or not you are ready for the responsibility of children;

THE MESS TEST
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains.  Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

THE TOY TEST
Obtain a 50kg box of Legos (or you may substitute roofing tacks). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.

GROCERY STORE TEST
Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

THE DRESSING TEST
Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus.  Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

THE FEEDING TEST
Obtain a large plastic milk jug.  Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord.  Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane.  Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

THE NIGHT TEST
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand.  Soak it thoroughly in water.  At 3:00p.m. begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00p.m.   Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00p.m.  Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard.  Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00a.m. Set alarm for 5:00 a.m.  Get up and make breakfast.  Keep this up for 5 years.  Look cheerful.

THE INGENUITY TEST
Take an egg carton.  Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator.  Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Pops. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

THE AUTOMOBILE TEST
Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon.  Buy a chocolate icecream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.  Get a twenty cent piece. Stick it into the cassette player.  Take a family size package of  chocolate chip cookies.  Mash them into the back seat.  Run a garden rake  along both sides of the car.   There … perfect.

THE PHYSICAL TEST (Women)
Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes.  Leave it there for 9 months.  Now remove 8 of the beans. Leave  it on for the rest of your life.

THE PHYSICAL TEST (Men)
Go to the nearest chemist.  Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself.  Now proceed to the nearest supermarket. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store.  Purchase a newspaper.  Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

THE FINAL ASSIGNMENT
Find a couple who already have a small child.  Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child’s table manners.  Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild.

Enjoy this experience.  It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

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I had a phone call on Wednesday from an ABS “census specialist” regarding my concerns over the running of the eCensus (see my previous post and the ABS’s form letter reply).

Unfortunately said “census expert” was also giving me a canned answer – not really her fault, it’s probably an ABS policy to “dumb down” the responses to the public to the lowest common denominator. One thing she did do, rather that just giving me the “that’s the answer, take it or leave it” response, is offer to get a “technical specialist” to contact me the following day.

When said “technical specialist” called on Thursday it was refreshing to find out he was actually one of the IT staff who was involved with the acceptance testing and rollout of the eCensus. For obvious reasons, I agreed not to identify him publicly (I *do* know his name and number !!), but here’s the gist of our conversation;

  • eCensus was tested on Windows XP, Windows 7 and Vista, using IE (versions 7 through 9), Firefox (3.5 and above), Google Chrome, Safari for Windows and Opera. All browsers worked as expected.
  • It was also tested on Mac OS X using all of the same browsers (where available) with the same acceptable results.
  • Although they do not recommend it, the staff tested eCensus on the iPad and iPhone with acceptable results. The iPad operated as expected – not a “mobile” version of eCensus, but you could get away with filing it out. The iPhone was more problematic, due to the screen size, but still possible.
  • The comment that “you would have to be nuts to try filling it out on an iPhone” made me laugh.
  • They also tested eCensus on Linux (Ubuntu 9.04) using all common browsers (no, not Lynx, unfortunately) and it worked as expected. Note that they will not SUPPORT this platform, the staff having tested it out of curiosity mainly.
  • Android devices (tablets, phones, etc) seem to work as well, however the same comments as for the iPhone also apply.

They will be looking at a mobile website for future censuses, due to the prevalence of tablets, smartphones and other portable devices, however it was more important to ensure compatibility with desktop and laptop platforms at this point in time.

In addition, they are looking at rewriting the Spotlight page (http://spotlight.abs.gov.au) in HTML5/CSS3 to make it more compatible with iOS devices in the near future.

So, unlike the ATO, the ABS IT guys do seem to recognise that it isn’t a Windows-centric world any more – if only they’d pass this information on to their Enquiry staff.

(UPDATE: One more good thing came out of this call – I am now part of the UI and Acceptance Testing Focus Group for future developments !!)

 

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My wife works for a certain Government Department and received notice last week that the upcoming Census in August could be filled out on-line and the suggestion was made that all Government employees should avail themselves of this.

Being Mac & Linux users, with no Windows machines or installations in the house (and no desire or intention of creating any), I emailed the ABS, from the form on their website, and asked them the following relatively simple questions;

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From: Client Services [mailto:client.services@abs.gov.au]
Sent: Tuesday, 19 July 2011 8:49 AM
To: ABS General
Subject: Inquiry/2011 Census Inquiry/ [SEC=UNCLASSIFIED]

An inquiry has been received
Name: xxxxxxxxx
Email: xxxxxxxxx
Phone: xxxxxxxxx

My wife, who works for a Government department, has just received notice of the availavility of eCensus.
Can you guarantee that the census forms will work regardless of operating system (i.e. on Mac OSX and Linux), and regardless of browser (Safari, IE, Firefox, Chrome, Opera at least) ?
And will there be any use of FLASH on the site, or other technologies that will impair completion of the form using a portable device such as an iPhone or iPad ?

Being web-based having this compatability would not exactly be rocket science.

19/07/2011 08:49:20 ZE10

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Free publications and statistics available on www.abs.gov.au

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I would have thought that the above was fairly simple. After all, if they have written their web pages to recognised and ratified HTML standards, this should be no great problem. It should – it MUST – be compatible with any device on the market that uses a standard browser.

Here’s their incomplete reply so far;

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This confuses me somewhat. They state, in the first line, that eCensus is not designed to be accessed by portable hand-held devices, and then in the last sentence state that it will work on iPads and iPhones ?? They have contradicted themselves almost immediately.

They also state that it has been tested with a PC – no mention of Macintosh or Linux, as in my original question, nor of other browsers ? Are we to take this, on the face of it, to mean that unless you are running Windows in some incarnation and, by inference, the pathetically inept Internet Explorer, you will be unable to successfully complete the eCensus ? I am still waiting to hear back from them on this.

In this day and age, where we are moving towards online EVERYTHING, there is ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE for creating an online service that is incompatable with a large and growing portion of the population’s hardware.

As a further example, examine this (admittedly creative) explanation of why the census is so important. It uses Adobe’s “Flash” technology as well – not supported universally. Yes, there is an “accessable” version, which is poorly-written text, but you loose all of the functionality and the audio track that explains much of how the Census works.

Writing this whole thing – the eCensus AND the explanation – could have been written in HTML5 and CSS3, ratified and tested STANDARDS, with fairly minimal effort, and avoided disadvantaging the non-Windows using population of this country.

The whole idea of the eCensus is partly to save the ABS money and time in producing the census statistics – it would be great to actually be able to see the data live as it is entered, or at least within 6 months of the census, rather that years and years as is the current situation.

If the ABS doesn’t guarantee this situation will be addressed site-wide as a matter of priority, I certainly encourage people to refuse to use the eCensus site and fill in the PAPER census – make them work for their money.

Comments are most welcome.

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