Apple

Ah, what a month it has been dealing with that behemoth that is Apple Australia.

Firstly, there’s the Power Supply replacement issue. Then the Faulty Battery and “vanishing serial number on MY Applecare” issue – both blogged about here.

The only bright point to date has been the efforts of one of the (I’m assuming here) Customer Care people, named Jade, who bent over backwards to chase these issues down and to keep me informed. She even sent me a free Magic Mouse as “compensation” for all the hassles – not that I asked for or wanted compensation, but it was a nice and much appreciated gesture on her part.

Today, however, the gloves are OFF ! Were it possible for a human to spontaneously implode then I was as close to it as it is possible to come today !!

I replaced the battery in my MacbookPro about a week ago, as previously blogged, and ever since then I have had a niggling problem. Allow the machine to sleep, by closing the lid, and 30 minutes later you can’t wake it up !! Power it off, remove and replace the battery, and most of the time it will restart.

Until last night – no restart, no boot, no self-diagnostics. Nothing. Nada, Nyet.

So I do all the standard diagnostics – well, as many as I can (reset SMC, try to reset PRAM, etc). The “sleep” light comes on full and the superdrive heads move, the hard drive spins up, and then absolutely nothing. I even left the machine turned on for couple of hours while I watched TV just in case it “came good”. Nothing.

My first reaction was to take the laptop, covered by Applecare, to Mac1 at Burwood, where Francis (technician extraordinare) would have it put right in no time – however that was a tad inconvenient and as I work almost across the road from the Sydney Apple Store it also seemed a little pointless. After all, the “mother ship” should provide at least service as good as a reseller, if not better, right ?

Knowing how precious the Apple “geniuses” get if you turn up out of the blue, I dived on line and got the last Monday appointment, 4:30PM. Booked. Confirmed. As mandated by The Gods of Apple.

So today at work I had an epiphany – as I’d done all the diagnostics, essentially all the “work” that the “genius” would doubtless try to do, I booked the laptop in and received that most sacred of things, the Apple Case ID Number.

So I leave work today at 4:20PM and wander across the road to the Apple Store and check in. I was all checked in and standing at the “genius” Bar by 4:25PM. I’d done the right thing, I thought, I was here early and ready with my Case ID, for my 4:30PM appointment. After all, I live a 90 minute train ride from the CBD and I’d be out in the allocated 15 minutes (all Apple allow for these appointments).

At 4:35PM I approach one of the staff, someone with the beginnings of a mohawk haircut, and ask what’s happened to my 4:30PM appointment that APPLE INSIST UPON. “Oh, we’re running late. They’re not robots, they’ll get to you as soon as they can”. I told him that it wasn’t good enough, that if I make an appointment at Apple’s insistance, I EXPECT THEM TO HONOR IT. If I was late, for example, I’d expect to be told I’d have to wait, and that I should have been here on time – and rightly so. This guy’s response was “What do you want me to do?”. After I told him I wanted to be served NOW, that I had bothered to get an APPOINTMENT, he just said “As soon as we can”. He then wandered off.

Give it another 5 minutes, I thought.

Then someone who came in WITHOUT an appointment AFTER ME was ushered to the “bar”. Enough is enough.

4:45PM I approach a young lady who is checking people in and put my complaint to her about the inefficiency of the “appointment” system. Her response ? “We’re running behind” and then a shrug of the shoulders, effectively saying to me “I don’t really care”. I pointed out that her attitude was unacceptable and unprofessional and she just turned back to the next customer, ignoring me.

I’m eventually condecendingly seen at 4:57PM – a full 27 minutes AFTER my Apple-mandated appointment time. When I questioned the delay, and why this particular ponytailed gentleman had seen people that came in AFTER ME, I was told “Hey, I see who I’m told to see”.

He then proceded to try to do the diagnostics that I had ALREADY DONE THE NIGHT BEFORE, and again that morning – despite me telling him that I had done those and giving him the Apple Case ID Number. When I told him AGAIN that these had been done, he tried to book the machine in. Again, I had to point out that I had done his work for him in BOOKING IT IN WITH APPLE ON THE PHONE this morning.

I eventually was blessed with the obligatory “turn-around is about a week” and some paperwork. When I mentioned that I could have taken it to Mac1 at Burwood and would have it back far faster, his only response was “Would you like to do that ?”

Would that I had done that in the first place. My blood pressure wouldn’t have suffered anywhere near as much, that’s for sure !

Having missed my train due to the ineptitude of this system and having an hour to wait for the next one, I asked to see the Manager – s/he was not available. I voiced my disgust to one of the staff downstairs and was told “I’ll bring this up at our staff meeting” – Apple-speak for “Thank you, now piss off so I can forget what you said” !

With nothing better to do for the next hour I made at least 7 attempts to contact SOMEONE who knew what the hell they were doing in Apple and all I got was unconfigured voicemail boxes and/or unanswered phones. I eventually left a voicemail for someone who is allegedly the Manager of Customer Care – I expect I’ll never hear from them.

I am at my wits’ end with this poor excuse for a company – to the point where I am seriously considering NOT upgrading my MacbookPro and swapping my iPhone and iPad for the equivalent Android devices – such is my absolute disgust with the way they treat their customers. I can make OSX work on almost ANY INTEL HARDWARE, licence conditions be damned. If I PAY for the software, I’ll use it HOW I DAMN-WELL PLEASE !!!

And don’t get me started on the blatant LIES that they tell you when you enquire about products – in November “iPad2 sir ? Certainly – we’re looking at 3rd quater 2011 for that”… bastards, I buy the iPad1 and the 2 is released less than 2 months later !!!

They have absolutely NO IDEA how to treat a customer post-sale – not that I’m asking them to fawn all over me, but treating me with respect and NOT CALLING ME MATE all the time would help.

Lob up with a pocket full of readies and want to buy a few bright shiny things ? They’ll fall all over themselves to please you. Turn up needing support or to ask a question and you’re treated like a leper.

Apple, if your “geniuses” cannot manage their own workload, or cannot keep to their timetable, or (as happened today) spend time in irrelevant “chit chat” with customers that are allowed in WITHOUT AN APPOINTMENT, then either get rid of the appointment system or STOP PEOPLE WALKING IN !

Apple (Australia) is one lucky, lucky company. After the experiences I’ve had with them over the past few days if ANYONE else made their hardware I’d be jumping ship NOW.

Last week the power supply on my Macbook, well Miss6′s Macbook actually, died. No lights, no power, nothing. Even put the trusty multimeter across it and there wasn’t even a trickle. Dutifully reported it to Apple (the machine is still under AppleCare), and here the fun #1 begins.

Despite having the “Proof of Coverage” certificate, issued BY Apple, in 2009 I find someone else’s serial number against my name !! I have a second PoC dated November 2009 with the offending serial number on it, so it is abundantly clear that the CORRECT serial number was registered first. No, Apple can’t explain it, the second serial number is registered to a company “no-where near the Sydney area” (all they’d tell me). The offer to cover the machine, and hence the power supply, “in good faith” while they investigate the matter – not happy, but I guess they have to do their thing.

Meanwhile I have to have a GENIUS BAR appointment to get a power supply exchanged !! WTF, Apple ?? What “diagnostics” do you need to run, apart from plugging it in ? Doesn’t take a GENIUS to do that.

Fortunately I walk across the road to the George St Apple store and a very helpful young man does the right thing and swaps it over – he even agrees with me that a GENIUS appointment for something so trivial is a waste of time – and hence I promised not to identify him !!

Pity it’s the NEW style, with the right angled plug, that won’t fit in the machines if you have an acrylic case on them – the old straight style is a “special order” and will take 10 days. Sod that, I take the power supply and give Miss6 my old straight one.

So today begins fun #2 !!

While charging the laptop at work I notice that the battery’s maximum charge of 5500mwH is not being reached – in fact it’s getting just over 3900mwH, and has only been through 82 full cycles. As it’s under AppleCare, I call Apple.

Yes, the battery is faulty. Yes, there were a batch of A1175 batteries that degraded prematurely. Yes, it would be replaced under AppleCare. But I have to get one of the accursed GENIUS appointments to get this done !! WTF #2, Apple !!!

It’s a bleeding BATTERY, what diagnostic can you do on it that I wouldn’t have done over the phone (System Profiler gave them all the info they needed for AppleCare to accept liability for it).

After being dicked around by a couple of the Apple Store droids, including one brainless security guard who time me the store was only 2 floors high (I’d never been above the ground floor), I’m told I have to go up to the GENIUS BAR to get the replacement authorised. After all, I have the case number and Apple have accepted liability.

When I get there this complete WASTE OF DNA, wearing a British racing cap, tells me that I have to go to “a technician” to have the replacement authorised and have it fitted. Really ? On an externally accessible USER REPLACEABLE BATTERY ?? He then proceeds to lecture me on Apple Store Procedure, and that you apparently have to be a “trained and certified Technician” to change a battery that is accessible from OUTSIDE THE MACHINE – obviously this was all drummed into him at the mandatory Cupertino ARROGANCE AND BELLIGERENCE TRAINING.

I query this and he tells me next appointment is next THURSDAY, to get A BLOODY BATTERY REPLACED !! Of course, I did what any sane right-thinking person would do – I told him to jam it up his ass and stormed off.

Downstairs I eventually had the Manager turn up, look at the case ID, and swap the battery over for me immediately, all the while apologizing for the treatment I’d received – ever so slightly condescendingly. I suspect she just didn’t want the agro, or was not used to customers demanding their rights, and just wanted to get rid of me.

As I told her, I can appreciate the need for GENIUS BAR appointments when something is wrong with the computer or something needs diagnosing – maybe even if such hasn’t been done online with the Apple Support team. But Apple HAVE to realise that insisting on appointments for MINOR TRIVIALITIES or things that DO NOT NEED DIAGNOSIS must be attended to as walk-ins !!

Not everyone has the time to make an appointment, especially when the next one is 7pm Thursday and you live 2 hours from the city, just as not everyone is a complete noob when it comes to Apple gear, although I have never seen anyone treated as anything but that by the GENIUS BAR staff.

How these guys (and yes, girls) can be called “geniuses” is beyond me – they even balked at my machine when they saw I have it TRIPLE booting (OS X, Windows 7 and Linux), using rEFIt, a pre-boot boot menu (and it is NOT rocket science !!). None of them knew how I’d done it nor that it was possible, and one guy even said that it was because of that setup I was having battery issues !!

As a friend on Twitter said today, “in a world where everything is meant to “just work”, the trivially easy becomes overwhelmingly complicated.”

Thoughts, Apple ???